What is happiness for you? Perhaps, success, money, fame, or maybe falling in love. There is no one size suits all scenario in here. Especially when talking about happiness in intimate relationships. As our world develops, in science and technology, so do our relationships with other people. So, let’s explore our options in modern relationships. We can be single and willing to stay single...
When we become involved in a relationship, we naturally change or adopt our behaviours to our partner’s ones. These might be small habits like eating take-away on Friday night or sleeping longer on Sunday, or more serious decisions like giving up smoking or learning new skill together. As relationship evolves partners exchange their behavioural attitudes and become more alike with time. Most of us would have seen on a friend example. He or she gets involved with someone and becomes a completely new person, acts differently, picks up new interests, often even dresses differently, and in many cases doesn’t spend as much time with “old friends” any more.
Whether your partner doesn’t show up to a date, forgets about your birthday, or has no time for you at all, stop coming up with excuses of his busyness, tiredness or whatever it might be. He or she is just irresponsible and not attentive enough therefore is not worth your pain.
There is no reason for you to fall a victim to the circumstances and accept someone treating you worth than you deserve. Most of the time people with lower self-esteem or many failures in the past relationships are ready to sacrifice anything for the next one to work, even if it means letting yourself down and agree to much less than they were dreaming about.
We all have stories in our head and beliefs about who we are and why, what is true about us and what is not, what our fears and boundaries are, what the expectations of ourselves are. Some of it lies within our conscious mind, while a lot is hidden and programmed in our subconscious without us even being aware of it. Our subconscious is defined by years of history – childhood, teenage years, adulthood, through years every single event and behaviour of other people in our environment affect our being now. When we build families, we often don’t realise in what way our partner is going to influence our life and decisions, how he is going to shape our world, our truths about certain things and most importantly our own beliefs about ourselves. However, we cannot underestimate the value and impact of the loved person on our life.
Often we become so overwhelmed by the flying tempo of life that we forget how caring and attentive we should be towards partners. Often it is hard to stay on top of your own life let alone following what’s going on in our spouse’s life. It doesn’t make you a bad person if you forgot your partner had an important day at work, or was going on a business trip in couple of days. We are humans with our own moods and feelings, and it is not easy to keep up with everything, while still staying a loving and mindful partner.