I like the scene in the movie “Couples retreat” when one of the couples talk to the therapist, they said “we are happy, meaning we are making it through (marriage)”. Even though it is a typical Hollywood comedy, it can teach us a lot about loving relationships. Making it through is not a bad way of handling a partnership, but is it happiness in abundance?
Seemly the same definitions uncover a completely different perspective at a closer look. Only a small gap differentiates the two, which in reality makes a huge impact on a marriage or partnership than it seems from the first sight.
The thing is, most of the time people when fall in love, experience romantic excitement and emotional splash, but then… decide they need to settle down and become serious. They learn living, planning and arranging life together, taking care of the kids and daily chores and more often than not, they succeed in it. However, in the process they risk to lose themselves as lovers, as those who were once madly in love with each other and could not wait to get hold of each other. They become too rational, predictable, serious and somewhat tedious.
Why is this happening?…
Because many couples neglect the simplest, yet the most important thing in loving relationship – emotional connection. In the beginning of relationship, we are interested in each other, we spend hours talking, expressing our feelings, giving comfort and support to each other, easily trusting and relying on each other. While with relationship evolving and stabilizing, we underestimate the need of getting in touch with each other’s feeling, anxieties and discomforts. Of course, then things are running smoothly, it is hardly noticeable, but if one of the partners goes through any difficulties in life, deep emotional connection and support from the other partner can make a big difference and help cope with any situation.
Therefore, I encourage you to make it your daily priority to connect with your loved ones, hear what they have to say, reach out to them, show them you care and prove you are always there for them whenever they need.